It's a Cookie Affair

It's always nice when family checks in to remind you that you're still a complete child (writing a blog about cookies is of course no indication of this at all).

Nicole's Nana, Elaine, sent over a batch of her famous Potato Chip Butter Cookies in this:



That would be one of those return address stickers that come free in the mail with your contribution to the local Rotary club or annual Policeman's ball. Genius. Apparently Nicole hadn't returned Nana's tupperware the last go 'round and she was not very happy about it. The cookies?



Insane. Ridiculous. Perfection. Sugarbutterballs with a salty potato chip crunch biting through their sublime smoothness. While I cannot overstate how effing good these were, it must be noted that these go beyond fattening. These ARE fat - you eat them and a portion of fat the exact size and shape of the cookie will appear somewhere on your body within 48 hours.

Not to be outdone, Maureen - aka my Mom - was in town the next week and brought these little guys by the studio:



However much I wanted to resent her for giving me exactly what I wanted exactly when I wanted it and therefore negating any sense of adulthood or self-sufficiency I had developed over the past 35 years, they were so good that I just shut up and ate like 10 of them on the spot. I mean, they were still WARM for god's sake. The woman doesn't screw around.

We love you Mom and Nana,
xxScott & Nicole


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Cookie, Interrupted.

Okay, I SUCK. Busy few weeks trying to do things that (gasp!) don't involve cookies, namely:

1. Watching Lost.



Lost had its big series finale a while back, which meant I could finally start watching it from the beginning. You see, I prefer my low culture entertainment to be completely time-shifted - not by Tivo's wimpy standard of a few hours or days, but by at least several years.

Lost is everything I dreamed it would be and more. Science fiction - and the dime story mythology that supports it - has an obsessive effect on me. I watched the entire Lord of the Rings Trilogy at least 32 times between February and December of 2004. And I have no memories of two entire days last week that don't involve an island, Matthew Fox, and a thick waft of black smoke that makes jungle trees bend.

It's important to note that I'm on Season 3 episode 13 and there's yet to be one cookie sighting on the Island, and these people totally have real food by this point:



Coincidence? Hmmm....


2. Not getting fat.



I have nothing to do with this photograph. That's what you get when you type "fat cookie" into a google image search. I swear.


3. Making clothes.

Lately I've been feeling a lot like this guy:



Someone's gotta make the friggin donuts. I realize I'm mixing dessert metaphors now, but while I'm at it, I can't NOT post this:



Alright dude, focus. Back to cookies.